I find myself in each of the words you described in your post. Please keep up hope and find something to calm yourselves down first. I am practicing yoga at night and some meditation to help myself, feeling more calm nowadays.
For your son, please look into Neurofeedback. I’ve tried for my 9 year old who got diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder. It helped him sleep better, less anxiety and less impulsive. He currently not taking any medication, we have him swim 3x/week, running and biking. No medication so far. Neurofeedback helped reducing 30% of anxiety, behavior so far. After 30 sessions of neurofeedback, doctor told us to let him take a break so his brain can develop by itself then come back for brain mapping and continue treatment in Jan 2019. Not sure where you live, but you can look at this Dr. Carlton Neurofeedback Center. He wrote a book about this, you can get it for free.
I will keep you in my prayer and keep up hope!!