hey, i’m sorry to hear your wife gave you that ultimatum. hopefully you can turn things around because it sounds like you really want to. has your wife previously put effort and time into understanding what’s going on with you? if not, i’d say she is being unreasonable but then she is likely still upset and angry about the affair.
my wife and i recently started seeing a marriage counsellor (1 session) – not a specific add marriage counsellor. the lady seemed understanding when i spoke about the problems i have with intimacy and getting in the right frame of mind for it. and she also helped my wife see some things a little differently, which i feel will improve things a lot at home.