lol… FYI, I am not laughing at you – I am laughing at me because you sound ‘exactly’ like me when it comes to bedtime and I just happen to be ‘procrastinating’ by responding to your post which caught my attention.
I am not sure why your Doctor won’t give you Wellbutrin but I do know that I have a friend who took it to try and quit smoking and not only did he end up having seizures but it triggered all kinds of things that resulted in him ending his life. I am not saying that to scare you or anything and believe me I have had difficulty with many Doctors in my lifetime especially because I have a higher than average intelligence as well as ask questions a lot which seems to be a no-no for their ego’s or something.
I am 57 years old (so ancient, lol) and I was diagnosed at 55 years old and only after I had quit smoking for a couple of years (later discovering that nicotine acts like Ritalin on the brain). Regardless I do love researching and actually, work in the mental health and addictions field as well as being in recovery from drugs and alcohol myself.
There are times when the Doctor actually does know and has reasons for not prescribing certain medications, sometimes they are not able to articulate why they don’t want to prescribe something themselves and we have no way of knowing if the Doctor ‘passed his exams’ to become a Doctor with a C+ or A+ do we?
Having said that I take Cymbalta and have found it to be absolutely fantastic… the only anti-depressant in my life (and I was diagnosed over 25 years ago – aacckkk…so longer than you have been alive, lol! (I still feel like a kid, more and more actually because now I just feel great, better than I have my entire lifef!) All of the other anti-d’s I have tried have left me feeling flat, like I was watching other people have emotions and I was behind a thick plexiglass wall (sexually I couldn’t have anything close to the fireworks I have now!) I hope that it never stops working, without it I wouldn’t have been able to get off of drugs and have experienced life-threatening years of depression, now I laugh and cry and experience feelings like anyone else. Every single person I know who has tried this has been successful on it and come ‘back’ to life or come ‘to’ life on it, I don’t feel like I have taken anything at all…it just feels real.
I digress, I also take Inderal (propoponol) which is a blood pressure med (60 mg for anxiety) and it stopped a lifetime of anxiety about 8 days in, wow, relief is such a lame word to describe my life now in comparison. Currently, I am going to go up on my Adderall because I am noticing breakthrough behaviors but I tried two other kinds of ADHD meds before I found Adderall actually works for me. I am weaning off of Trazadone for sleep and now take 25 mg a night because I take Cymbalta at night and sleep like a baby. In addition, I am weaning off of Clonazepam (finally) and I am down to .05 mg daily and will start breaking those in half because they are scored once I go up in Adderall. I would strongly recommend you not get attached to any benzo – ever, they are the absolute worst to get off of (my poor Aunt had a 40 year ‘addiction’, awful).
Sleep; I get to having way too much time at night myself because generally during the day I need to be working, lol, like now, so night-time is my fun time. I procrastinate going to sleep myself even though I bought myself a beautiful memory foam mattress topper (my bed is new) and I literally ‘sink’ into it and it feels like heaven so when I finally get there (also lately about 4 or 5 am, lol) I wonder why I didn’t go to bed earlier? So, I am where you are with it but I was working nights so I was thinking that was why since I am readjusting to working from home and trying to get ready to go back to school. I have some fantastic breathing exercises and meditations I plan on moving to my bedroom from chooseheart.com dirkterpstra.ca and I absolutely KNOW they work, I look forward to them.
Good luck and let me know if you find any ‘miracle’ cure for liking to play at night, lol. I hope my post has helped you, I give my Doctor a break now and he appreciates it. 🙂