Reply To: Don't know what to do!!!

#87728
tlowens1998
Participant

Update. Went to her therapist yesterday. He said the poo smearing was because she had absolutely no control of anything else and she could get attention from that.
He also said shes acting out on me because she knows I’m not going anywhere. She can play nice for the couple hours a night she sees her dad and the couple of days she sees her mom. But because she knows I’m not going anywhere I get the attitude and horrible actions. She can’t hide it in front of me because I’m always here.
She feels her mom will go away and her dad. She doesn’t want to disappoint them in the moments she sees them because she knows they will be upset. Which explains why the first 2 days she’s with her mom she’s respectful and does what she’s supposed to. But because we changed the schedule to where we have her one week and her mom has one week she can’t hold it in after day 2. That’s when she starts acting up for her mother.
In 2 weeks we go back all 3 of us with my daughter. He wanted to speak to my husband but he couldn’t go to this past session.
She knows dad will be here but will have to leave for a couple hours every night. So she can hold in the I’m good until he walks out the door. The therapist said she only feels safe with me. She knows I’ll never go anywhere and she’s purposely pressing my buttons to see if I’ll leave. So some how we gotta figure out how to get her to stop the behavior.
I made her a quote book while she was at her mother’s last week. All kinds of quotes. She’s been carrying it around and reading it. It has 60 quotes all about family, respect, stealing, attitude and behavior.
The therapist said I’m doing exactly what needs to be done and the other 2 need to get on board. I have both of their backs. If one throws a punishment I see it thru. They don’t do that. Which is an issue as well. Because they are forcing me to be the bad guy when they can’t handle doing it. For some reason they still hate each other. I’ve told them get over it. Especially to my husband. He should be over what happened when they divorced. My ex husband and I are a well oiled machine. We have forgiven each other and moved on and anything with the kids we have each other’s back.
So there’s a lot of changing that needs to happen with these 2 before I see any improvement with my daughter. It’s gonna get worse and I have to sit here and take it until things change.
So really I’m still screwed and there’s gonna be no change.