Yes, you are enabling him. Now that you recognize it, you can change it.
Don’t do anything for him. Help him, but don’t do it for him. That means you can sit with him while he completes online job applications, answer questions, and be supportive… but you cannot do it for him. Same with the resume. Help him find some articles and tutorials on creating a resume with no job experience.
Encourage him to get a GED so he can move forward in his life. Help him discover what he’s interested in doing or passionate about. Even if it’s video gaming, there are many, many jobs in that field now. If he like animals, maybe get him volunteering at a shelter in the hopes it can turn into a job at some point.
Maybe help him establish a daily/weekly schedule that includes a block of time applying for jobs, a block of time seeking treatment for ADHD, a block of time volunteering, a block of time helping you to show his gratitude for the help you’re providing him.
Q: Our Daughter’s Failure to Launch Is Upending Our ADHD Family
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism