I can relate. When I was a teenager I spent a few years on the streets. Slept in a park under a slide to keep out of the rain, found a tent and lived in that on public land for a while. Ate popcorn they threw out of the movie theater at the end of the night and took early morning showers behind a church with their garden hose. I’ve lived in drug houses, counting on a bigger “brother” or “sister” to take pity on me so that I was fed with somewhere to sleep. Taking up shelter with other runaways. etc.
This is going to sound harsh, but you need to put aside your feelings and ask for help. You’re at a point where it will be almost impossible to move upwards without it. I can’t say much to the ADHD aspect as I am newly diagnosed, but I can tell you from someone who has scraped bottom plenty of times in life that you cannot get out of your hole alone. Everyone needs help from time to time. Don’t feel like you’re being a burden, or that you are less of a person. Take strength out of the idea that you will prove to whoever helps you that you are determined to make it out of that situation. Prove it to them by taking steps forward. Food shelf, workforce center, resume, interviews, jobs, doctor visit. I’m not sure what state you live in, but in mine the health insurance is free for those with no income if you can prove you’re looking for work. Little steps. Let them add up and know that every step you take, even if it’s standing in line at food shelf feeling like a bum, is actually a step forward.
You must be willing to look like you’re not put together in order to get put together. Entrust your story to a friend or family member, let them help you stay on track. Tell them to remind you of what your goals are so that when your adhd brain strays away from what you want there’s someone to put your thoughts back to where they need to be. Don’t trust yourself to do it on your own. I’m sure you have it in you to do it, but from what I know personally about the way my brain works, and from what others have described, you just cannot let yourself do this alone.
I hope this helped! I wish you the best of luck, a full belly, and a warm place to sleep at night! Get out of that car! You can do this!