Reply To: Talking

#87289
strwbry
Participant

That Burger King thing is amazing. <3 I usually call my husband the dog’s name, and vice versa. People at work are usually sweetie or hun (I live in the south, so this is all acceptable). I know their names, but struggle to get the right one at the right time. 😛 We all make mistakes, I feel like they’re nature’s way of reminding us not to take life too seriously. 🙂

I’m combined type inattentive and hyperactive, which means I struggle with listening to other people’s stories and take 10 years to tell my own. 😀

I often get mixed up in conversations, too! I find that some people like my enthusiasm, but it can be draining in large doses. I just get so much more excited than other people! If they start to look away or fidget, they’re uncomfortable. I try to end the story quickly and keep my mouth shut for a few minutes, or ask them a question. Give them a chance to talk and try to listen, or at least pretend to listen and pick up the main points. Giving others a turn to talk seems to help them be more patient when I do get stuck on a tangent. I promise I don’t mean to hijack the conversation. I try to give them the reigns a bit once I realize I’ve taken over again.

Taking a deep breath helps me to slow down my speech if I’m talking to fast.

Sometimes, I think so fast, my words all get jumbled crash into each other like a train wreck. I have to pause for a second to sort out all my thoughts and get going again.

Sometimes I’ll lose track of a thought in the middle of a sentence and stare into space for a second or two until I can remember what I was saying. It’s awkward, but I usually give a laugh and move on. I can’t help it, so no sense in dwelling on it. People usually move on, too. Maybe they think I’m weird, but I really don’t care anymore. I’m quirky, can’t help it. Keeps life interesting. It’s part of my charm I guess. 🙂

Playing with a small fidget in my hand helps me to focus while conversing. I like the bike chain fidget rings, but even a paperclip, quarter, or small piece of paper helps. It can help me feel more in control of my part of the conversation. Instead of interrupting and spitting out all of my thoughts, I put that energy into physical movement with the fidget and toss one or two ideas out when it’s my turn.

I try to keep conversations in groups short when I can. 5-10 minutes unless we’re subject hopping enough to keep my focus seems to do the trick. Please don’t make me sit and listen to 5 different people’s opinions on one subject. My brain needs more variety to stay on board!

If I’m going to have a longer conversation one-on-one, I can focus a little better. I try to get a cup of tea or a glass of water, or go for a walk together to give me something to do while listening. Any sort of movement seems helpful.