Moxi, You’ve got it (moxi, that is)! I am an attorney who has had ADHD probably all my life but didn’t know until I was around 40. I’ll be 60 this year. I agree with the responder above who said that your husband needs to find something he really loves to do. Even though I love practicing law, it is VERY difficult for me, at least the day to day stuff. I LOVE being in front of a jury and usually do well in trials, even if I don’t win. I’m not a “successful” attorney. In fact, I’m about to go into foreclosure.
I have been through two marriages and fortunately, my second wife, the love of my life is working with me on getting back together. She understands my ADHD but it has still been very frustrating for her. We have had financial troubles for most of our time together and I take full responsibility. I just don’t have the self-discipline to keep the ADHD from interfering with my work life.
I am also a musician. My first career was as a band director. I also love to write. I’m not trying to make this about me. I’m just giving an example of how diverse our interests can be.
I encourage you to hang in there with your husband. Sales can be one of the most lucrative careers. Maybe he hasn’t found something that he really can believe in to sell. Maybe he could explore that with an ADHD counselor or coach. I can testify about how frustrating and depressing the employment factor can be. I see a counselor weekly who helps me cope with the work issues. It helps.
Praying that you guys will find some relief.