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I totally understand your topic here and have thought about that myself over the years. Try thinking of it this way: I see the ADHD as the “How” I do things. It’s me that decides “What” I like, “When” I do something (even if the ADHD sidetracks me). A good way to stop feeling like a victim to your ADHD is to switch your focus on the good it does. In what situations is it a super power? If you can’t think of many, then start putting yourself into situations where the ADHD helps.
I am currently having to do this myself. And not sure if you have seen it where ADHD doesn’t usually show up alone. Mine came with depression and his pet anxiety. I am saying this because once you can totally define these “add ons” then you will discover that what ever is left is that “you” that you were wondering about.
So try thinking of the ADHD as the how you do something and see if that helps.