Reply To: Lost in Despair, Husband Unemployed AGAIN

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Hey Moxi

I am so sorry to hear about your distress. It’s quite a frustrating situation. My husband is not always well and has been a bit lackadaisical with jobs in the past. However, after being quite stern with him he did make changes. I have empathy for him but at the end of the day bills needed to be paid. He now works part-time –
less money but steady income and less stress for him. Gladly we don’t have kids and I don’t know where you live but at least in the UK we get child support payments and out of work benefits. Also, there is still some social housing available for families with children, who usually get priority.

I am the one with ADHD though and despite having a CV longer than my arm, I am rather conscientious because I don’t want to leave a bad impression. And when I started feeling fed up with my job, I would be the one to quit rather than wait until my lack of motivation had a greater impact on my performance. However I would usually try and find something else beforehand. Lately I have been in a job for the longest time I can remember – 3 years to be exact. I found something I enjoy which is IT Support.

However, I did a lot of job changing and thinking about what I would really like to do. So in the end your husband has to take the bull by the horn and take responsibility in this area. There is no one particular advise I can give you, I think your husband knows very well what he needs to do.

If this carries on though I would consider going to some marriage counselling or something – he has a responsibility for you and your family and if he doesn’t provide support financially I would give him an ultimatum as bad as that sounds. We live in a system that doesn’t support people with invisible health issues and that’s very unfortunate. But he needs to work within the options he has. If feeding 7 mouths is not motivation enough for him, I don’t know what will be.