A lot of these comments are really helpful because to be honest, I never considered accepting those unproductive days.
I’ve known I have ADHD since I was young, however my family lacked the resources to learn how to teach/help me with my diagnosis, so I was raised to think my unproductiveness was inherently linked to laziness no matter how hard I tried. Or felt like I was trying. Only in the past, year? Or so since I have been actively researching healthy coping mechanisms have I really acknowledged how hard my brain is working for me and how I can help it let off some steam. I’ve tried everything from medication (30 mgs Vyvance) to mindfulness. There has been change but nothing really felt like I was improving towards being the productive self I have thus so far envisioned myself as.
I created this alternative perfect version of myself to live up to, this, hyper productive perfectionist, and I (sometimes still do) tear myself apart when I can’t achieve the goals I set out for myself.
I’ve been overwhelming myself for no good reason because I didn’t think it was an option to accept I need to relax. Acceptance is the first step towards change and it’s been hard, but I need to accept my process and my breaks.
-Katie