Reply To: Impulsive, anxious, depressed, disorganized

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I’m a prolific people pleaser, I have a really hard time disagreeing with anyone unless I know them really, really well. By contrast, in writing (i.e., online), I almost always disagree with everyone by default. This has caused me to have some pretty awful “friends.” Over the years, I’ve learned to be very selective with friends. That basically means I’ve become a loner. Which I’ve discovered I prefer due to the amount of alone time I need. But that also means that the friends I do have are high quality.

Now, you may have higher social needs than me, so this post might be meaningless to you. But, it’s worth asking yourself if you let people in your life because of a pre-conceived notion that you’re obligated to, or whether it’s out of a genuine want/need to connect with that person (or people in general). You may find that the real problem is that you’re not getting enough alone time, or that you simply don’t like to tell a person they just aren’t a fit for you.

Point blank, being selective about relationships means you have to be willing to wait it out, sometimes alone.