8 years of marriage, and it’s still fun. 🙂 Not every couple can say that. Most of our friends seem bored and tired with their adulthood. Our ADHD keeps us looking for new sources of entertainment and interest. Our impulsivity and humor take disastrous date nights and turn them into fun memories. Conversations that we are both invested in are quick and engaging, no one can match wits with me like he can, and when we grab onto a project, the creative ideas start flying! It’s definitely an adventure, and having someone by your side who understands your struggles, sees who you are when you’re not pretending to be typical and loves you, not just despite your quirks but sometimes because of them, is wonderful. You can truly be yourself, and love yourself, which is hard to do after years of being told you’re lazy or dumb. I think it’s hard for some people to accept what they don’t really understand. It’s hard to be patient and forgiving when you feel like you’re the one doing ALL the forgiving. In an ADHD marriage, the screw ups are pretty equal. 😉
Cons. Important decisions are hard. Keeping track of finances is hard. Important conversations are hard when neither of you really wants to address whatever the scary issue is. We take turns “being the adult” in different situations, but neither of us every REALLY wants to be the adult. Sometimes, I feel like having a “real adult” in the relationship would make things like schedules, chores, and finances easier. Easier, but not neccisarily better.
He was diagnosed as a kid. I was diagnosed in college.
I still love being married to my ADHD man, and though he annoys the crap out of me sometimes with his impulsivity and distractibility, I know it’s never personal. And it’s easy to forgive, because I’ll probably zone out when he starts talking about motorcycles or pizza. 🙂 It’s a wonderful adventure.
Adult supervision (from a coach or therapist) recommended.
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by strwbry.