Hi meandb. I was also like that and am now 61 years old and getting treatment. I grew up in a different time and a place where there were a ton of kids in my neighborhood. I managed to learn something from each of them about dealing with life and I got by, not well but I got by. I went through a lot of friends. Bear with me because I am going to suggest treatment as though she had some trauma. Not that she did, but what you describe is trauma in itself. Rather than wait until she is old and looks back at this as her trauma you could very well stop it now. It would require you learn the treatment and that she trusts you.
The treatment is called “inner family” and there is a series of videos on you tube or just search for videos on yahoo or whatever you use. It takes a real effort to understand it but it is really helpful for someone that would like to change which parts of their personality shine. The basic premise is that the “family” is all the “selves” or “parts” of your personality that make up who you are. Sort of like sybil but in a safe and happy way. A good hint is that all of your parts are “good” and mean well. Giving them names and understanding what drives them lets people manage their personality in a way that was really fun for me. I had to watch about 6 hours of video before it clicked. I wish I had this 55 years ago. Wishing you the best.