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I’m the ADD spouse here (25 yrs), diagnosed 16 yrs ago at age 35. While my wife and I have had our struggles around ADD, we have never attacked each other the way you describe here. Unless you can work on this both together and individually, I have to agree with Trish above and say this might not be a good fit. We have never said that we didn’t love each other – that’s the thing that has carried us through the difficulty (and there’s been a lot of it). I hope the two of you can work together and find that again – I wish you well… CH