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Your post took the words out of my brain and soul. I should have written as honestly as you did…but I think that because I’m still here 25 years later…I’m ashamed somehow. I’ve wanted to believe that loyalty and integrity to ones vow at the the beginning of the marriage were the most important characteristics of a good person. I still don’t totally doubt that. I have to believe that the Creator…the originator of marriage…looks at me as faithful. So my reward is His approval. Everything else is a matter of endurance.
But the truth in answer to the question about whether I would marry my husband again is an emphatic no.
But I’m here now…25 years later and I will continue to treat my husband with as much kindness as I can muster. I exercise all the limitations that I have to because of his messy, falling-down personality. Thankfully I have support within my family and others in the congregation where I worship. They don’t know his weird personality has letters attached to it (ADHD) but they are loving, supportive people by virtue of how we’re all taught from the scriptures…so it works.
I’m deeply lonely at home. I do my best to work with that by doing things for others, reading, gardening and working out at a gym.
Different things work to help some of us endure…but when it’s over, it’s over and I admire the way you expressed it regarding your relationship. My sincere best wishes to you.