I have both too. I was assaulted out of nowhere from behind while using a urinal at a night club then again by at least 2 people outside (I couldn’t see at that point so that one still haunts me). This happened 15 years ago. I was a boxer in college so people thing it shouldn’t affect me as much because I have confidence with violence. Just the opposite happened. Now I am afraid of badly hurting someone because I was enraged after the incident. Suffered from panic attacks often until about 5 years ago – now I still have them but have coping skills.
I was only diagnosed with ADHD last year at 48. My meds (Cymbalta) for anxiety and ADHD (Adderall) go together nicely so that was no problem.
As far as telling “sweety” goes – if you haven’t already – try telling them in vague terms at first. Then tell them you will keep telling the story every month but add a little bit of detail when it feels right. Eventually the beans will be spilled without any real shock.