Reply To: Another girl without friends


Hi. I also have a girl with ADHD who is 9. Just an FYI I also think it’s the age. The girls in her class are always fighting. She’ll be angry at someone one day and cry about it at home and then the next day they are best friends. She’s even convinced me to keep her home a couple of times from school because she’s been so upset. I’ve kearbed my lesson and realized I was creating more of an issue by keeping her home. At first I would get very upset about this until I started asking around and found out that all the other girls were struggling with the same thing. Of coarse it’s harder for us because our girls have stronger feelings. I hear that things start to settle down by Middle School. I understand what you are saying though because my daughter just wants to vent with me not really come up with any solutions. Also the more upset I get about it the more upset she gets so I have to really try to keep a level head. (Which is hard because I also have ADD.) A female therapist could be helpful. Many will work on social skills or can just be that person other than mom to listen. Ive been looking for a meetup group of other girls with ADHD but have been unsuccessful. The American Girl doll company has soon great books on friendship that I know many of the girls her age have used. Growing up I had a few friends but was never extremely social. I’m still that way and perfectly happy. I try to follow my daughters changing interests and sign her up for extracurricular activities she enjoys which gives her social contact with peers as well. Also if she has a few friends that’s great. All you really need is a couple of friends. Can she get together with those girls or sign up for an after school activity with one of them? Try to strengthen those friendships. Also are there any other girls who are struggling socially. Maybe reach out to those girls? My best friend growing up was a boy. I rarely hung out with females. Now I have a couple of good friends and my husband and that works for me. I think for our guys we have to think out of the box and let go of neurotypical expectations. We are all unique individuals with different social needs. She’ll find her group. I’m struggling with my daughters strong feelings too. I think this is across the board for all girls this age though. We just get it more intensely because our girls feel things more.