I am a 21 year old female and finally diagnosed and medicated after MANY years of internal struggles and feeling lost and confused. You should be proud of yourself for taking this step.
I myself, had a lot of feelings when I did multiple self tests and read symptoms over and over again. The same questions flooded my mind: “would things have turned out differently if I had been diagnosed or medicated earlier?” “would I maybe not have failed that class?” etc etc.
Truth be told, beating yourself up and wondering what could have been will only hinder your journey into treatment and coping. I still fall back and get angry with myself because of past mistakes or past issues. It will take time but trust me, the validation and the support you will receive via online communities and competent doctors and people close to you will help you move in the right direction. I’m not going to sit here and say that everyone will be accepting and understanding or that you yourself won’t get frustrated when you see your ADHD coming out very severely sometimes, but like everything, learning and unlearning is a process.
Be kind to yourself, and patient as well. Surround yourself with people who understand and won’t make it harder for you. You deserve happiness.
Good luck with everything Paige,