I think any 17-year-old teen can try to manipulate parents from time to time. When it’s more than that, then I believe there’s an underlying reason. ODD could be the reason. Other possible reasons are: avoid getting in trouble, avoid disappointing parents if they discovered the truth, avoiding things that are difficult, etc… And the more our kids are pushed into learned helplessness (for us it’s the schools never supporting my son so he can achieve success), the more avoidant behaviors increase.
I’m a huge fan of Greene’s work as well. It really is true that behavior is communication. Using that as your parenting compass is so helpful when raising kids with ADHD. Dr. Greene is actually doing a free webinar on teens with ADHD and ODD on June 6th.
A very thorough neuropsych eval could possibly reveal lagging skills, especially those that are part of executive functioning. If you go that route, be sure to tell the evaluator up front that you want to consider all skills that could be delayed.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism