Reply To: Relationships and Emotional Articulation

#85158
LauraG
Participant

When I was 17, very quiet and shy, I fell in love with a boy. We dated until I was about 18 1/2. Then, he dumped me for a girl at college. I stayed in love with him until I was 23, even while having another serious relationship.

He came back to me when I was 23 and we dated for two years at that point, I had just started graduate school. Things were serious between us but I was in a new phase of my life. Finally, after my first year of law school, he wanted to get married. But I did not have the emotional maturity to say “wow, what I want is right in front of me and I’m going to take it and be happy.“

Instead, I started dating someone else that I had met in law school. It turned out that my true love let me go so that I could go with the new guy. We both married other people and each of us had two boys My marriage ended after nine years, and then raising the children while being divorced with joint custody was not so easy.

My point is that I could not get what I wanted because I was not emotionally able to love The man who loved me and who I thought I was deeply in love with. But, By moving on with my life I was able eventually to see that he was not the right person for me.

If the person you were thinking of does not have the same feelings as you do, you should move on. Learn from your experience. That person is not “the one”. I know at 24 it seems like an impossible thing to do, but you can do it when you are 24, the whole world is in front of you. And I did it without even knowing that I had ADHD.

Take care, Laura