Reply To: Dating a Man with ADHD — my anxiety has spiked, seeking advice please.

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#85137
pce42
Participant

Wow, I feel like I have been more concerned about improving myself since I’ve fell into an anxious depression. It’s bizarre because he’s not a toxic person and we communicate so well when it’s just us two. It’s so strange! It almost makes me feel like I’m crazy for considering getting back together with him because we do have fun on our adventures. The spontaneous side of him is such a blast! We love exploring new places and I’ve never had that with a partner before.

I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriages and that you exist together. The difference between John and Tim is that John budgets and is SUPER cheap when it comes to going out. He’s a poor tipper and I’ve been incredibly embarrassed by it. I personally tip 20% since I come from a family of servers and he’s told me I over tip even if the service wasn’t excellent. He is the bare minimum. Which, I suppose it’s good to be frugal since my ex was an over spender. HOWEVER. The back an forth and up and down is exactly what I’ve been living with for a year now. I feel isolated and embarrassed to go out because he steers people away or they just check-out. My love for him continues to be incredibly strong, and I’ve never felt a love like this, but I also can’t live an isolated life of questioning whether or not I can bring my significant other to certain social things. : ( He told me he thinks therapy will help him. I’m not so sure it will. : (

The sulkiness is another issue I’ve noticed in John. He will get VERY down, and I know that’s from a lifetime of not meeting other people’s expectations. I’m talking putting himself down and not feeling like where he should be in life. Granted, I’ve been feeling that way too with not feeling like I’m where I want to be, but he gets incredibly self-loathing and then gets upset that he can’t “fix me” and make me happy. The not saying please and thank you is something I’ve noticed in John too! I’ve had to chime in when a sever refills his water and say THANK YOU! It’s so awkward because I’m an extremely polite person, so I’m very gracious when it comes to simple acts. I’d love to chat more with you even if it’s through this means or if you’d like to email. I’m not sure if there is a personal message option in this site.

I’ve exhausted myself learning about ADD/ADHD.