Reply To: Mom on the verge…I'm not alone, right?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Parents Behavior & Discipline Mom on the verge…I'm not alone, right? Reply To: Mom on the verge…I'm not alone, right?

#85090
jwallace
Participant

This is good and bad to hear. You are not alone which means I’m not alone either! Ha, ha! I’m a single mom of an 11 yo boy with ADHD and some ODD as well. We have run the gamut of therapy, medication, routine, IEP, sports, not sports, other hobbies, attempted play dates, charts, positive reinforcement, strict business, consequences, consistently, you name it and we’ve more than likely tried it. My kiddo like all of ours, is a good kid. He’s smart, funny, intuitive, and cams be very empathetic. He can also be intentionally manipulative, lie and cries often about anything. His emotions are at eleven all the time in it’s exhausting to be around. We are getting ready to move cross country so I can quit my career and finish my undergrad at an amazing school that I am beyond lucky to be a part of. This has sent him into a tail spin. We’re back to long dramatic and sometimes violent nights with him punching himself in the face or attacking me. He will thrash my stuff and sometimes his. I try my best to stay calm and obviously do everything to keep everyone safe. In these times he is trying hard to get a reaction but will not stop until he has cycled all the way through angry, violence, hysteria, sobbing/anxiety, to tired and remorseful if we can get there. Then in the am it starts again OR he acts like everything is rainbows and unicorns. We’ve had a lot of talks about the move, expectations, worries, excitement, what we do with feelings etc. there’s been A LOT of forethought and care for his feelings and wellbeing. My fear is that we both start school the same week. Me at a new, upper division college (gotta bring my A game) & he starts middle school, a new school/town/state with none of our usual support systems in place. I’m trying to prep about a million and one things now and for this coming journey. What do we do with these kids we love but batter us and deplete our beings. I feel so guilty sometimes and other times so resentful. Yet, he is only a child and has his own struggles and differences. It’s hard to love someone this much but be hurt by them so harshly. Especially since I grew up around violence and turmoil and have spent my adult life staying clear of that behavior and healing only to have a child that triggers my own trauma. I have to keep a clear head and be the best mother he needs but inside I’m a wreck. I worry I’ll have a heart attack or stroke sometimes. Kidding, but not! I hope we can all have support and maybe find some answers. I’m so glad you posted this thread and when it’s not the middle of the night I will read through some more and think of things that have been helpful to share with you. Hang tight!