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I’ve thought a lot about this exact question. The conclusion I’ve reached is that there is no distinction between “you” and “ADHD” because ADHD is part of you.
The basic structure of my brain is different from neurotypicals, so at the most basic levels it just works differently. It’s like you’re running a different operating system, but all the instructions you can find are for the other ones. But the content of your brain is completely your own, even if the way it’s reached and the way you use it are totally different. Your values, likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies fill in the details of your ADHD based brain.
For your other question, my answer is that that’s because things ARE much harder for you. That’s part of ADHD. But accepting that things are hard for you is different from accepting that there are things you can’t do. The former is necessary, and the latter is defeatist.
I hope that made sense, and I hope it helped