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Hi there. First of all, good for you for researching and investigating ADHD and exploring the possibility that you might have it! And congrats for having the courage to discuss this with your family. And please know that you aren’t stuck and you aren’t dumb. You can navigate your way through this to get the hep you need.
So, here’s how I’d summarize your situation
1) What you describe about your own behavior does align with ADHD symptoms, and serve as a positive indicator that you have probably (not just “might”) have ADHD.
2) The fact that all of the screeners/tests for ADHD you’ve taken indicate you have ADHD is a positive indicator.
3) We know that ADHD is genetic, and the stat I’ve seen is that parents have a 50/50 chance of passing it to their children, and it is VERY common for siblings to have ADHD (I have examples in my own family). So the fact that your brother has ADHD is a positive indicator.
4) Your mother’s reaction is totally typical of people who don’t know enough about ADHD and too easily ascribe our challenges to character or insufficient effort. So this may not be a positive indicator, but her opinion doesn’t equate as a negative indicator either.
If I were you I’d do everything I can to get a diagnosis. If you are 18 you can go see a doctor yourself. Ask your dad for help. Lay out all of the information you’ve collected through your research (maybe even this post and responses) for both your parents and ask for their help. Perhaps you can convince your mom to let a doctor decide. And do your very best to find a doctor who specializes in ADHD – too many other docs don’t know enough! Keep trying.
If you can’t address this until you get to college, most campuses do have health centers and I imagine most have good experience with ADHD. Go see them ASAP with all the backup you have. I imagine they get REALLY busy at the start of the term, so don’t put it off.
Good luck – and keep posting here and on other communities to get the support you need.