That sounds very frustrating. It’s hard to watch our kids struggle and know they won’t let us help them.
It’s probably best to ask how you can help him, and then do what he offers and step back and let it be. I know that’s so much easier for me to say than for anyone to do. It sounds clearly like he wants to be in charge of himself right now.
Remember, ADHD is a developmental disability and executive functions are far from fully developed at 22 (takes until around 30 for those with ADHD I’ve read). Your 22-year-old is probably functioning in many ways as an 18-year-old at best.
He sounds adventurous (going to a new country on his own), and I think that will pay off someday. 😉
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism