I was born to parent with one considered legally blind. I think part of that conquence and the stigma she felt in her formative years, when I was diagnosed in 6th grade, they choose not to reveal my direct diagnosis of ADD to me. They just said I had “a Learning Disability”. They did tell me that I was not as challenged as others others with major behavior challenges after coming home from parent meetings. (much later I realized they were CHADD meetings.) Even asking as an adult what type did I have they refused to tell me even when I suspected in my late 40’s. One parent deferred to another who talked around it. They also had no desire to put me on what they believed was medication that would make me zombie like. They were still making that decision by not telling me. I was slow enough and my thoughts or other distractions took me off task, my memory was horrible like my memories getting lost in a full mental file draw that I was always searching for a key to get into, then scrambling around searching for the right one. Then losing things or forgetting things and appointments. I’d also have to rinse in at the last minute by the skin of my teeth for appoints. If something changed what was normal in a day, I’d forget that other things in my life was scheduled. My parents felt that doing regular church activities with the other kids was my Therapy. (No it wasn’t! It was experiencing normal life for a church attending kid.) I won’t be rediagnoised until 50 because I Searched and was overwhelmed with all the possible learning disabilities out there. Even a Special Education teacher of our faith said nothing when I shared my experiences. I felt lost until one day at a bookstore Sari Solden book and the Spirit kept staring back at me.
I grew up believing and being taught about God at home and Church. I had positive tender feelings for God and my Savior Jesus Christ. I’m thankful that He was not used in disciplining me. I do believe that is no ones fault, just like the child in the scriptures that was born blind, his parent and mine are not be blamed for my ADD challenges. It has nothing to do with anyone’s righteousness or lack of. There are those who can be healed from various things of the flesh, but others are not. Even the Apostle Paul had a thorn of his flesh that was not removed but the Lord said “his grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Im sure just as a tree who must sink it’s roots deep into the soil becomes stronger so have I gain strength and God’s abiding love if I seek him bring comfort. I may not understand all, but I am thankful for ever increasing knowledge that I was helped to find and people who understand my challenges and can help with further insight and in whom I can connect with.
There are those people who have worked with the challenges of ADD/ADHD and used aspects of their challges that help them in certain ways and they have found and strengthen the talents and presented them to the world. I don’t believe it to be a gift, but a challenge to be faced learning ways that help us work WITH IT using creative ways to work with the brains we have, and the medication that can be helpful to many that God has helped to influence to bless. God allow Jesus to help us find what we need for our growth and share what we do have with others with loving kindness.