Reply To: Struggling


Dear EjJtAa,

I would definitely try to see the specialist more frequently. We could usually tell within one month if his meds weren’t working. For the first two years we would go once a month, or every 6 weeks to really stay on top of his behaviours. If he doesn’t have a specialized plan at school yet you should enquire with the Resource Teacher about this.

Please see my recent reply to Lil missy regarding other therapies we have used with success, along with book suggestions that might help reduce the negative interactions.

It wasn’t until my son was about 12 years old that I realized that he will still have what I call “blips” – just like everyone else they will have bad days – theirs are just soooooo much more noticeable. We used to have several meltdowns per day, then it went down to one or so per day, then it went down to a few per week, then one or two per week. His behaviour changed noticeably when he hit puberty at age 12 and we noticed a real difference in his ability to cope with things.

For some reason these kids have a very difficult time transitioning from one thing to another. We used to give him a 10 minute countdown. Often the 10 minutes was more like 20 minutes. I would keep reminding him at 8 mins, 6 mins, 5 mins, and then would advise 3, 2, and 1 minutes. This little trick alleviated alot of meltdowns. Sometimes, if he was having fun and good behaviour, I might give him an extra few minutes.

We also used a reward system at home and school to try to use positive reinforcement for his behaviour.

It definitely is not an easy road, but it is most assuredly worth it. Lots of times my 16 year old has asked me if I wished he wasn’t around, or wished he didn’t have ADHD, etc. My reply to him always is: “I love you and I’m grateful for you. I wish that I could make life easier for you; help more people understand you. If I take away your ADHD then I take away all the amazing things it gives you, ie: creativity, witty, athletic, charming, kind, exciting, exuberant, enthusiastic, funny, affectionate. Without your ADHD you would be a completely different person, and I love the person you are deep inside!!!”

Hang in there – your kids are worth it!!!!