Routines are very important and you and your husband need to lock yours so you have a structure for you child. It is probably best whatever you need to do for quiet time is considered as part of that. You also might consider if your ADHD child (and possibly husband) may be biphasic. This means you sleep twice during a 24 hour period, usually 4 to 5 hours at night and a 20 to 30 minute nap during the day. Thus you need much less sleep than “average” or (hate this) “normal”. I happened to be, which explains my lifelong need for much less sleep than a neurotypicals and frustration over everyone trying to force me to sleep 7 to 9 hours. I am a late life (at 53 and am now 56) ADHD and dyslexic diagnosis and being able to sleep how is natural without being told I am wrong is very empowering.