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Hi, I don’t know know enough about your son to make much of a judgement but if he has SPD and ADHD he will have a really tough time with his emotions. Personally I have found penalties to be counterproductive.
Telling your child he is wrong for not being able to manage his anger may make him feel a failure.
My son is 12 now and is autistic with ADHD. Spd, hemiplegia etc. He had very distressed meltdowns and sometimes still does but much less now that he is more supported and understood. I think a running conversation around managing his difficulties is good, but absolutely not when he is in high emotion. Also, ODD..where does this stem from. My son has PDA, or Pathalogical Demand Avoidance. Similar kind of presentation to ODD but driven by excruciating anxiety. If you read ‘The Explosive Child’ by Ross Greene, you will find different strategies. Good luck!