Reply To: Getting Your Child to Calm Down During Explosive Meltdown

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Oh, Mama, you are not alone. Please try to always remember that, even in the hard days. Until I joined this group, I thought I was completely alone in dealing with a child who had explosive behaviors. My son is nearly 13 now and we have been dealing with the same explosive behaviors. When he was younger, I would have to sit and bear-hug him until he was able to regain control. I just kept whispering in his ear “when you get your control back, I will let you go.” Now he is taller than me and weighs nearly the same as I do so that doesn’t work. I have learned what some of his triggers are and am able to cut down on some of the explosions by confronting the situation head on (too much junk food in a day, too much gaming or tv watching, too much time with just one friend, etc.). Some other things that have really worked for us are behavior counseling, appropriate meds, and teaching him to talk through what is bothering him. The book by Ross Greene that was referenced already in this thread was also a game changer for me. One final thing that we are beginning to implement in our house is the development of a growth/flexible mindset as opposed to a very fixed mindset. There is a great group on Facebook called “Raising Kids with a Growth Mindset” that I belong to. They are very positive and supportive – just like those within this group. I know there are so many other things that people have found to be effective with their children, but maybe some of the things I have tried will help you as well. Hang in there – it does get better as long as you stay consistent.