Reply To: How to help my son focus and complete work in school

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Coach Agnes Green
Participant

ADHD is such a hard thing to understand unless you experience it. The best teachers/parents/supervisors/friends in the world only see the person with ADHD from the outside. I am an adult and a coach with ADHD. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 45, even then, it six years before I understood it. Perhaps your son is self conscious about his writing because our brains do not organize our thoughts enough to put them on paper. Punishment will never work with ADHD. Kids with ADHD want to do what is right, their brains just don’t cooperate. Rewards and positive reinforcement helps. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Dr William Dodson)is a very big factor when it comes to some of the behaviours you are explaining. Rejection and criticism or perceived rejection and criticism can lead to behaviours such as people pleasing or the opposite, doing nothing at all for fear of failure. All the positive reinforcement suggestions mentioned here are excellent. Perhaps if your son could understand why he does the things he does by working with a coach or an ADHD counselor you can help him develop strategies to thrive not just survive. I used to daydream as a child and found it was the most relaxing non-stressful thing I could do. As an adult, I still do it and consider it a form of meditation. In time, your son will learn to use daydreaming as a tool to relax but only when it is appropriate.