Um, wow! This school is clearly in violation of the law in so many ways!
Since they talked 504/IEP I’m going to assume it’s a public school (private schools are exempt from those laws).
They don’t have to accept a private evaluation, but they do have to evaluate at the school level if you request it.
So, put the request in writing and submit it. Here’s a sample letter to follow:
Once they receive it, the clock starts ticking. They have to get a permission to evaluate form signed by you, then they have 60 days (school days, I believe), to complete the evaluation.
If they refuse to evaluate, go to the Director of Special Education, then the Superintendent, then your state department of special education if you have to.
And, if you can, hire an educational advocate. Most school try to play dumb with parents to get out of providing supports. They sit up and take notice when an advocate is involved.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism