Reply To: Emotional Distance

#83673
fuscia
Participant

I go through this, either on my end from my ADHD/SPD or mild bi-polar, there are periods when I feel over whelmed and can’t “mom” or interact. Or if my child is struggling with anxiety and it’s coming out as being constantly angry or whiny, I just feel like this is not some one I want to be in the same room with. Even if she’s on the flip side and really happy and chatty, it’s such a difference that it can also be too much at times. I generally am always seeking solitude and quiet. So it’s hard because kids are noisy and in your face a lot. lol.
There are studies about how parents feel towards colicky babies vs non colicky babies. Just the fact that a mom will say something like, “He’s such a good baby, he sleeps through the night, rarely cries, ect.” The fact that we naturally associate what a good baby or child is with their behavior/temperment says a lot. The study was about the difficulties in bonding with a colicky baby and how it impacts how a care giver feels about their child. Plus sometimes we are just so different than our own kids. It’s ok, it’s better to not avoid being aware of how you feel, just be honest with yourself, and find a way around your feelings to insure your child feels loved for who they are, and not how they act. But that’s tough too, because we are trying to teach our kids right from wrong, and that actions have consequences. And the truth is, people don’t want to be around angry disruptive people. So if our kids want stable friendships and relationships, they need to learn self control.