Reply To: My Symptoms get worse when i date?

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Good morning,

I’ve just been through a difficult breakup after dating the love of my life for almost two years. It was wonderful except for when he starting noticing my ADD and my quirks daily. Although he wasn’t frustrated about anything at first but he was when I moved in. Sigh, my ex suffers with OCD and Anxiety. This wasn’t a good combination with my ADD. We love each other dearly and I am still feeling devastated for having to leave the relationship. 🙁

My ex thought he was helping me by telling me how I communicate badly, or forget too much or even have trouble concentrating. My ex was so critical that I couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to be intimate with me or display any form of affection at home and in public because he was so frustrated at me. I couldn’t understand why it bothered him so much. I tried so damn hard to be perfect so that he wouldn’t leave me. I was dying inside because I wasn’t feeling loved, I wasn’t loved the way I needed. I moved 4 hours away from my family, friends, and a good job to be with him and plan a life together in marriage.

My ex started pushing me away because he didn’t get me, my ADD brain and it nearly killed me. We agreed it was best that I move because he was miserable and so was I. Now, it’s almost 3 months later and he wants me back but…….I can’t. I need him to love me for ME and I don’t want my ADD personality to annoy or frustrate my loved one. I don’t want to be mistreated by anyone again! If my ADD personality makes him angry then I’m not going back. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Staying away from the one I love is heartbreaking, but living under someone else’s perfectionism is worse. I won’t lose myself again for anyone.

So all I can say is, you need to be able to be yourself around the person you like. She should like you for who you are and I hope that her noticing your ADHD isn’t the beginning of her noticing other things. It can escalate quickly. Just be careful o.k? You shouldn’t think that having ADHD may blow it. Get help but love yourself enough to be yourself. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by CDarois6.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by CDarois6.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Penny Williams.