Reply To: Hyperfocusing on people?

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#83668
non-stop thrillz
Participant

I came here to see if others have this problem, so it’s nice to read these responses& know I’m not alone ! I think for me it’s a manifestation of Hyperfocus. Anything or anyone that I get excited about & brings me positive feelings will trigger this feeling…I just want more! And I don’t want to think about anything but fantasies of possible futures. My big problem right now is that I switched from a med that seemed like it turned off emotional reactions for me. I only focused on work and tasks, excluding everything else. But now I’m on a new med which seems better, and along with it comes interest in other people. Well, right now, one other person (who seems too good to be true, of course). Honestly I don’t know him that well, so that’s a situation ripe for me to project all sorts of wishes and dreams on to; I realized that I have been and ~I am~ so lonely. This guy seems SO nice, so cool, so warm and just ~ present~ in the moment, the way so many people just * aren’t *. I’m SO enamored. Plus, omg, this type of thing always gets me: we have mutual interests that spark in depth conversations. THAT’S INSTANT CRUSH for me, just add hot water! But yesterday I was around him and others working on a project, and I realized, oh, duh: “he’s great and friendly with *everyone*. I mean, who wouldn’t love him? He’s not not interested in you, silly, he’s just a nice person, and he probably already has a relationship….blah blah blah…” It all translates to self doubt and self loathing…”why would anyone be attracted to me? Look at my history of failed relationships and ridiculous embarrassing crushes!” Ugh. All of this- ALL of it- is in my head completely! This time, I’m going to keep my cool and just see what happens next. I’m not going to send him stupid texts, I’m not going to confess my love/angst, I’m not going to out myself and tell him to stop being nice to me bc it’s making my unrequited love worse, I’m not going to avoid him& run away without explanation. I’m just going to breathe. Not live in the fantasies. Stay in the present. And write people on this adhd message board, Lolz !(Maybe I should get some birds, OP? Love that story!)