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You sound frustrated. How about this for a suggestion.
Negotiation + x2 containers.
Your sons participation is important+ pieces of paper & a pen. Ask him 6 rewards that he would like, he rights them down on pieces of paper folds the paper & puts them in one container. Next he writes down 6 consequences he writes them down folds paper and puts the in other container.
When he complies he pulls out of reward container, non compliance consequences other container.
Object of exercise he has pulled out relevant piece of paper, you have not.