“Refuse” is a big red-flag word for parents of kids with ADHD/autism. Kids/young adults want to do well. He isn’t consciously refusing, but rather struggling in some way under the surface. It absolutely looks like refusal, 110%, but there’s an underlying reason.
What actually works is him discovering his interests and passions and using those to drive his actions. He needs some successes. Right now he’s drowning in all the failures (not getting up, not getting to class, failing classes, mom and dad are angry, etc.). It really sounds like he’s given up. 🙁
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism