I challenge you to change your thinking. Don’t think of it as a “choice” anymore. Think of each thing as something his different/ADHD brain struggles with. What tools/strategies will help him?
Honestly, it sounds like school isn’t right for him, at least not yet. The motivating factor for college, getting a degree to get a job, is 4 years in the future. It’s not immediate enough to spark the ADHD brain.
I know it’s hard and I know it sucks. You just have to keep changing your approach or change what he’s expected to do until something is working. I was just interviewing an ADHD expert yesterday and he was describing the after high school journey they had with his own son. Tried college, didn’t fit. Tried gap year program, didn’t fit. Tried 2 or 3 different trade school programs, didn’t fit. Yet, now he has a full-time job he’s doing well at and is happy. And this is the child of a psychologist. It’s hard for all of us when raising kids with these challenges.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism