First, the school should NOT be talking to you about how you choose to treat your child’s ADHD. That is unacceptable in and of itself.
Second, the law says they must accommodate students with disabilities and offer them a “free and appropriate education” just the same as non-disabled students. That means they have to accommodate so kids with disabilities have the same opportunity for learning and school “success.” The law DOES NOT say, “provide a free and appropriate public education to only students with disabilities who take medicine.”
So, that means, very simply, that your son’s school is in violation of federal law.
If you can, get an educational advocate to help you navigate this issue and get your son what he needs in school. At the very least, let the school know you’ll file a state complaint or a federal discrimination complaint if they don’t start working with his disability ASAP.
On the medication issue, many teens with ADHD, especially boys, start to refuse medication and treatment. They want to make decisions for themselves and the often don’t want to be different or “broken” so they deny treatment. It’s a super tough place to be in.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism