I have much more drive. Where I usually either played games or surfed the net or just shuffled from one thing to another, I can now sit down and work on my work stuff or my studies.
Where this difference in thinking, emotion, and activity is concerned, recognize that when on your ADhD meds what you are experiencing is increased focus of your energy and attention, accompanied by a sense of purpose and direction that you didn’t have when you were randomly playing games, surfing the Internet, or shuffling from one thing to another.
Ritalin (et al) is a stimulant, so you may have more “energy” per se, but you will also become aware of the difference between ‘stimulation’ associated with your ADhD meds and that which you experience with other stimulants, such as caffeine. Coffee or energy drinks may keep you up all night, but almost certainly you will not have the same sense of focus and purpose.
You are certainly correct when you point out that you do not know any other brain. Indeed, through this experience what you are becoming more aware of is ‘perceived reality’. And whereas it is difficult or altogether impossible to conjur for yourself a completely different reality – such as being ‘neurotypical’ – it is also true that your ‘reality’ changes when you are on your ADhD meds by comparison to when you are not. Over time you will develop awareness of the difference and you will know when you are experiencing one ‘reality’ as opposed to the other. A huge part of your journey with ADhD is this development of self-awareness.
Having an ADhD nervous system is a singular experience, and though it is shared by others in a fundamental sense, and certainly you may learn from the experiences of others, at the end of the day your ADhD and ‘perceived reality’ is your own. If ever there was something about which you ‘learn by doing,’ this is it. Be patient with yourself, as much as you can be. Give yourself time, and space. Keep researching, keep asking questions, and by all means experiment. No one will ever know you as well as you do.