It is not awful. It is a coping strategy. I often have to separate my emotions from my parenting or we end up with two people having meltdowns…my child and then me! I am most successful with my own children if I pretend that I am working with someone’s else children because I teach special needs kids also. When I allow my children to dig into my emotional “bucket” then I am no longer an effective parent, I am another child in the family. I have to put my emotions aside sometimes I have learned or we end up saying things to each other that are hurtful or harmful that we often don’t mean. I am not always able to do this but when I can it is actually more helpful to my children I have found. You are doing what you need to do to parent! Remember that. It is hard and it is ugly sometimes but we do what we can to keep ourselves healthy so we can be a better role model for our children.