Hello AB mum,
Both of you sit down. Explain that not only does he have rights, but as parents you also have rights. He is now too old for a reward chart. Suggest a contract of agreement.
Discuss say 6 things that annoy you both (3 concerns each) Both of you sign. Review after 2 wks. Cross of the thing that has improved and possibly add other concerns that need to be addressed. It is about working as a team and respecting each other.