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The “you don’t have the right clothes on so you can’t participate” thing would trigger me long before the being left alone (which is also uncategorically unacceptable). I’m pretty sure God doesn’t care what you’re wearing. 😉
It’s sounds like the rigidity of this school doesn’t match with your child’s learn style and special needs. Of course, no one can decide this but you, but I would personally change schools this fall. This teacher is really damaging him right now, too.
My son also had the worst teacher ever in 4th grade. It got so bad for him that the principal moved him to a different teacher the last nine weeks. Then, we had him repeat 4th grade because he was traumatized — literally.
Do what you can to protect your son from this kind of harm. I’m not saying to baby him or make excuses for him, I’m saying to find a compassionate and supportive environment.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism