Honestly, I would just see your Primary Care Provider and list your possible symptoms. If they feel it’s warranted, they will then refer you to someone who can do a more thorough testing. Your particular kind of struggles sound like you mainly struggle with “mindfulness”.
Basically, you need to practice being more observant and mindful of other people’s reactions. I struggle with this too, but it’s usually the opposite way for me… I’m TOO mindful and end up assuming the worst rather than what is really going on which frustrates other people just as much.
I often jump from obsession to obsession… it’s a typical trait for a variety of conditions but can also be attributed to intelligence too so it isn’t significant by itself. Again, this can be addressed by practicing more mindfulness about your actions and the amount of energy you are putting into something. Interests are good… lots of interests is still good… but perusing any interest so thoroughly that other important aspects of your life, isn’t healthy for anyone and definitely leads to strained relationships.
So I would talk with your PCP and read up some material about what “mindfulness” means and how to start improving it. Even if you don’t have ADHD, mindfulness is a huge skill that everyone can benefit from.