Reply To: 13yo son = household chaos

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I’ve created a system to mitigate the disaster that is my house. Here are a few examples:
I have laundry hampers in my living room, boys’ bedrooms and bathrooms. I was tired of wet athletic clothes on my area rugs. It’s 50/50 if they make it into the hamper, but it’s 100% that I’ll be less upset taking something 5 feet instead of upstairs or to the basement.
Toothpaste was ending up everywhere, so I only put out travel size toothpaste. Smaller tube= less mess.
Food was ending up everywhere, so I do a nightly check of my couch cushions and under the coffee table looking for food and wrappers. I do a morning check of his bedroom, looking for food and food wrappers. I’ve gotten in the habit of sitting in the kitchen after dinner to make sure that food isn’t going out.
Dresser drawers are labelled, because everything was going in every drawer. He has to fold his clothes and match his socks in front of me or they will vanish and end up who knows where.
When it comes to homework: I check the school’s software daily. I compile a list of homework and put it into an app called “Todoist” for my son. I also send that list to his IS, so she is aware of everything due that week. I will e-mail teachers to let them know that homework has been completed and that they should get it from him. (this is an upgrade from me scanning and sending everything). When he says that he completed something at school, I will e-mail that teacher and ask for confirmation that they have that assignment. His teachers have uploaded a PDF of just about every piece of paper they pass out in class which is a tremendous help. In the past two years, I’ve printed a ream of paper worth of lost assignments, readings and study guides. Because it’s in his IEP, he can turn any assignment in up until the end of a marking period without penalty. Without that, even with all the work I do at home, he would be flunking high school. I have no idea what is going to happen in 2 years when he’s supposed to graduate. The IEP team can’t answer that question either. I want to step back from this, but it is impossible. I went a week to see what would happen and it took two weeks to get all those missing assignments in.