I get what you’re saying. I’m in my 50’s and was diagnosed in my early 40’s with ADHD. Some how I figured out coping skills until then. I am not and have not been on any meds for ADHD. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve only had two jobs in my career that I really felt my ADHD worked to my benefit. Both sales focused, made great commissions due to the speed of my brain and being creative with resources and solutions. Both were people-oriented positions too. I’m not good with boring, data entry-ish jobs. Need diversity. I still haven’t found my sweet spot.
Life sometimes comes at me too fast too. Like fireworks. I’m trying to catch all the sparkles floating down before they fizz out. My suggestions and what I’ve found works for me. Give yourself the space, meditate or figure out what calms you, 10 deep breaths, a quick walk outside to refresh and regroup; consistently going to a yoga or exercise class (I have challenges following through with “dress up, show up”). Chill and read a real book with a spine and pages. something about the feel of a real book, turning pages, calms me to a sleep sometimes, I also read short stories, less characters to remember, since they start and finish quickly. If I read novels, I have a challenge keeping all the characters and their personalities in my mind. I write a post it note with character identifiers on the inside of the sleeve so I can refer back to remember. Exercising and getting out my energy in the morning calms me through the day. Structure you day with book ends. Morning routine, right when get up, and bedtime hygiene, e.g. calming tea, read or meditate. My hubbie of 26 years also does a great job of calming me and reminding me lovingly.
With figuring out your career, I’d check out some books which can give you insight as to what your aptitudes are and the best careers for ADHDers.
Feel free to respond back to me if you have questions about what I’ve shared.