I have adopted twins who have ADHD as one of their symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD). So besides ADHD, they are intellectually delayed and receive some special education services. I haven’t checked for ADHD parent discussion sites on Facebook, but I belong to a few discussion groups for parents of kids, teens and young adults who have an FASD. The most helpful parent forums for me on Facebook are my state’s chapter of NCAC (National Council on Adopted/Adoptable Children) and NOFAS (National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). Since these are state-wide groups, I’ve been able to meet some parents whose kids have many of the same issues that mine do. So we often invite one another’s similar-aged kids to our kids’ birthday parties. We keep them small to avoid having things get too wild and we do invite a classmate or two – often those who are in SpEd reading or math with one or both of my girls. When money permits, I’ll have their party at the local skating rink, the YMCA (includes swimming and climbing wall) or a hotel with a pool (winter birthday). When we do a hotel party, it’s small and each girl gets to pick one friend who will stay over. We might invite a couple of others from school, but only kids whose parents I know fairly well spend the night.
I don’t know if there are such discussion groups for ADHD that are state or region-specific. But if there are any or if there is an organization that holds parents’ meetings, those can be placed to meet other parents who “get it.” Their kids are more likely be accepting of your kids. And it’s also great for parents to have some resources, to get advice, to be able to socialize with others who are on a similar journey and won’t judge if one of our kids gets out of hand. And we serve as a volunteer birthday party or graduation party squad. Usually, a couple or few parents can bring their kids to a party and the birthday boy or girl can have fun with kids who won’t judge them.