Reply To: lonely College Life


Hi, Ella,

I had a similar experience. I felt I did not fit in at my college. I was placed with roommates who all joined sororities, and I did not. Eventually I found places and clubs where people hung out, and anyone was welcome. I found odd places where small groups of people studied, and I started going there. There were small departmental lounges and libraries where the majors (such as biology, chemistry, and physics) hung out, visited, and studied. The biology department had a weekly ‘tea’ with a speaker, and people hung around afterwards. The professors loved chatting with the students about all sorts of things. There was a counseling center where I volunteered. There was a college radio station, music building, art buildings, athletic areas. I got to meet people and feel welcome at such places. Did you consider volunteering anywhere or being a tutor? There are many activities other than club meetings where you can spend time with like-minded people and make friends. Are there are clubs where groups go and do things together, such as camping, hiking, other activities? Are there any jobs you can do that let you meet people? I worked on campus and did not particularly make friends at my jobs, but I got to meet people and have some pleasant times and some company.

When I was in school, single rooms were highly desirable, and there was a waiting list. Did you consider asking to be re-assigned to a different dorm room next year? Did you consider going to the housing department with your proposed roommate and asking to be placed together?

In a lot of support groups there is a saying of ‘fake it till you make it’. Try not to worry that other people may be talking about you. There may be few or none of them talking about you. If there are, do you want them as friends anyway? Smile a lot and say hello to people. Some people will respond positively. Try not to waste your time worrying about the others.

All the best,