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His appointment yesterday resulted in scheduled an actual appointment for May. The walk-in clinic evidently puts priority with those who have more serious concerns, which I totally understand.
Wow, gosh, that’s a hard question for me to answer about how I chose to act if I wasn’t waiting for John. I’m not quite sure. Honestly, I’m in an analysis paralysis with some things. We talked about kids last night and I explained I was very ambivalent and not ready for that commitment. I asked what his thoughts were and wanted to make sure I wasn’t holding him back. He told me he didn’t think he’d make a good dad because he’s forgetful. I’m not sure why he said that when he was so hell bent on having a kid before. I’m just a bit concerned he’s settling because he doesn’t want to lose me, so whatever I say, he’ll go with. I asked him if that’s really how he felt and he said it was.
Things are going okay. I’m actually doing my first singing gig soon and when I tried to have a serious conversation about how practice went, he kept chimming in with random jokes about things. I’m starting to notice these things more. I told him I was trying to be serious about the situation because I was nervous and he was like, okay, I gotta be serious, then tried to play it off and ask me more serious questions. I just get easily frustrated with some of the things. I mentioned to him today that it’s now April 13th and he still hasn’t paid me for his half of the mortgage/bills, he said he forgot and would pay me tonight. I told him to be respectful moving forward and pay me on time or at least give me notice when he will pay me since it wouldn’t work this way with a landlord. Plus, I think I’m quite affordable to live with. I handle all of the home bills and he gives me a flat rate, which is cheaper than any other place he’s lived at before…
Anywhose, please feel free to respond. Thanks!